11/18/07

chris and i have been talking about kids a lot lately. how we would want to parent, where we want to raise our children, the things we do and don't want them to have... and this morning's events kicked off another long discussion.

we were at mass and one couple we know (the dad is the pianist and organist) adopted 2 little boys in the last few years. beautiful, funny, very difficult little boys. the mom is so patient but i have say also frazzled. the boys are around 2 and 4, i believe. they were having a tough time sitting still and "behaving". dad was playing the organ for the church while mom had one hand around the ankle of the oldest as he was crawling down the pew to the other end (without, i might add, his pants and shoes on) and the other around the youngest as he was desperately trying to exit the pew all together. people were immediately drawn into 2 groups. those you saw smiling at the boys thought it was mildly amusing while others were visibly tense, annoyed at the distraction from their "holy" time with g-d. to those i say, what's holy if not children?

to the others, the people who simply smiled at the children and pitied the mother (i was in this camp), i say, what is wrong with us? dad is serving us at mass, mom is obviously trying to keep the boys quiet so as not to disturb anyone and we sit by and smile? i can only imagine how tired mom must be and how helpful someone sitting with them at church to help watch the boys would be. for some reason we try to ignore when someone is embarrassed or having difficulty, i suppose to spare them shame. but i had to ask myself, even in this small way, are we being the church? are single people, married people, those with children and without getting and giving the care they need?

it makes me nervous and shy but i think i will ask mom if i can sit with them to help carry the load next week.

has anyone ever seen Supernanny?
great show.

4 comments:

libb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gina Hostetler said...

Leah went through a phase kind of like this...not quite as extreme, but very difficult. There was one woman at our church who, without fail, always swept in to take her on a little walk, or just feed her cookies in the kitchen. :) I was beyond blessed by her, as it always came right when I was about to bust. Plus, she always found something wonderful to tell me about how precious Leah is. It was nice to hear, since I was worried about what people were seeing. So, I hope you are able to bless this tired momma in a similar way!

adiaspeer said...

supernanny is great! and yes help that mother, she'd be crazy to turn you down. you're so right about how people just basically ignore anything uncomfortable. weird society we are. i on the other hand just let my kid(s) run around like crazy... they are kids right?! you can't expect they to act like adults so either be okay with them acting like kids or give them something else to do (ie: nursery or childrens church)

Linda said...

i think that's wonderful of you to notice this family and desire to be a blessing to them! the idea behind your question is something i think often...how can there be so much "want" within the church if we are really loving one another?? if you come up with anything let me know!