Life on Ferry Ave.

2011-12-09T12:53:00.001-05:00

Almost exactly to the day, 1 year ago, was my last post... wow. Well, if I haven't lost all of my many readers, here I ago again about Christmas. As I've said before, Advent is really my favorite time of year. I love the joyous wringing out of every last ounce of sunlight and warmth and life that we can before the dying and hibernating and darkness of winter is upon us. I love the anticipation of the Christmas season and the joy of Emmanuel, God with us. We all know that the celebration of Advent is almost gone in most of our lives and I would venture to say its because of, at least in large part, the ever encroaching shopping season, as early now as October! Many friends and family of mine are decorating for Christmas before thanksgiving - and that's ok! - but I would offer that it may inhibit us from truly appreciating advent and Christmas separately... And I would also guess that it inundates us, especially the children among us, with so much Christmas that we end up foundering on it. I know that often by Christmas day I am so sick of the music and sights and smells of the season and I can't wait to tear my dying tree down.

Having Simon has given me a new sense of wonder for this time of year. I want him to feel the awe of the natural world slowly folding in on itself to sleep the winter off, and the awe of the candles and the evergreens, of the carols at church, of the bursts of bright red berries and the smell of cinnamon. I want him to be excited about baby Jesus and the bright guiding star, about cookies and St. Nicholas... And yes, I want him to be excited about giving small gifts to each other to remind us what gift was given to us 2000 years ago. So this year, while he is still small, we have begun traditions that hopefully will continue on. We are celebrating Advent. We are singing songs of expectation, lighting candles, reading books about the birth of Jesus and about winter, filling the house with evergreens and preparing for Christmas. We are not celebrating Christmas yet. We have decided to wait until Christmas eve to fully decorate the house and put up the tree... This one is hard for me, but I think it will be worth the wait. It is the traditional Catholic practice to observe 40 days of Christmas starting on Christmas Eve so at our church Christmas songs are just beginning then and the massive tree stays up till the end of January. on December 6th we celebrated St. Nicholas day by filling simon's shoes with treats. He was so excited to come downstairs that next morning to find his shoes... Mostly excited about the ginger cookie inside one of them but I'll take what I can get. On Christmas Eve I will be attempting to make tamales (what am I thinking?) which is the traditional Mexican way to celebrate and making chilaquiles for that morning. I can't wait to see Simon's face as he comes downstairs Christmas morning to see a lit tree, candles glowing, shiny packages and baby Jesus in the manger! We will start with breakfast and the Christmas story and then we will open gifts and, most importantly, the stockings together. I'm hoping that the pile of gifts is a small one but I LOVE stockings and will never give them up, so there.

Anyways, that is our plan. We are going on instinct and new knowledge, certainly not habit. This is all new to us but we are hoping Simon grows up with a deep appreciation and joy for these Advent and Christmas seasons.

Chris and I last year at Philly's Christmas Village

I'd love to hear how you resist the explosion of Christmas in October (or how you don't and why) and find special ways to draw out the celebration - please share!

2010-12-06T10:26:00.000-05:00

so, now that we have a child we are beginning to rethink our normal christmas traditions. we've known for some time that presents are center stage for most of us and the true mystery and joy of the season is hard to find. in fact, as a kid i remember a sense of let down when the last present was unwrapped... and i remember already thinking about the next gift i was going to open before i had even finished opening the one in my hands. i've heard of children saying things like, "baby jesus is the one who brings us presents on christmas morning". and tantrums seem likely to happen on one of the most holy days of the year.

now, it's not that i'm against gift giving and receiving. besides being super fun, i think it's important for children to know how to give gifts and how receive them. no, i like presents. but... i don't want simon to be like i was.

we've been brainstorming some ideas... (and not really for this year because we'll just be busy keeping him from eating the wrapping paper at this stage.) for one, i don't think we'll have simon write a list of things he'd like. this takes away the surprise and excitement and sets him up for disappointment if he doesn't get everything he wanted... or sets us up for bankruptcy if he does. i'm not sure we'll do a traditional santa clause either. i really love mystery and fantasy and pretend but we're thinking of creating a space for that on st. nicholas day (dec. 6th) when children (and adults too!) put their shoes outside their doors before bed and wake up to little treats in them in the morning, brought by st. nicholas. another opportunity for gift giving is three kings day... january 6th. but on christmas day i think we'll do stockings (because i love them) and leave the presents at that.

but i still want that day to feel special and magical (and be about baby jesus). so, i'd love to hear about your ideas or traditions! when do you decorate for christmas? do you go out somewhere as a family? play games? how do you celebrate the wonder of baby jesus coming into the world?

please share them on facebook or in the comments!

parent fail.

2010-09-12T07:56:00.000-04:00

so, Holly advised me to share this story for the good of all my parent and child care friends on the internet. a few weeks ago i did some thing terrible... i locked simon in the car. don't know how it happened but thankfully the car was running w the air on because it was a 95 degree day! i crumbled into tiny mom pieces on the sidewalk, crying, searching for a brick to smash the window in. again thankfully, Kristin and Katie Jo helped me pull it together and suggested calling the fire department. a great idea that would have never crossed my mind! by the time we were finishing the call we could hear the sirens coming up the street. they were so kind to me and apparently do this all the time. simon was fine but i was a little worse for wear. so, the moral is two-fold. 1) try not to lock your children in the car 2) but if you do, call 911 and very helpful fire fighters will save the day.

A Cradle Song

2010-06-17T13:19:00.000-04:00

he's here! our son, simon james haw, was born june 11, 2010 at 4:49am. he weighed 7lbs and 8oz and is gorgeous. it was a wild ride as we had planned a home birth with wonderful midwives... in the end though, i had to be induced because of mild preeclampsia. so i delivered at cooper hospital after 36 hours of labor! i barely remember it though, at which my midwives laugh because i lost my sense of perspective so many times throughout the process... meaning i cried and wailed and said there was no way i could do it. but i did it. without chris, though, i never could have. he was incredibly patient and kind and empathetic and connected to me. i was very lucky to have him, my 2 midwives and a good friend with me at the hospital. the policies and rules and ridiculousness is enough to make a woman lose heart - without support i don't know what would have happened!

but it just doesn't matter because he's here! we have no idea what we're doing but simon has been patient with us.

this morning our priest, fr. michael, came over to see us and bless the little one and he recited for us the most beautiful poem. a friend of his, patrick collumb, from his native ireland, wrote "a cradle song" about the sense he got that when a baby sleeps it travels up to heaven, just for a bit. and when that baby smiles in it's sleep it is experiencing all the peace and wonder it can. but to hear fr. michael say it... so lovely. (mavourneen means my darling)

O men from the fields,
Come gently within.
Tread softly, softly
O men coming in!
Mavourneen is going
From me and from you,
Where Mary will fold him
With mantle of blue!
From reek of the smoke
And cold of the floor
And the peering of things
Across the half-door.
O men of the fields,
Soft, softly come thro'
Mary puts round him
Her mantle of blue.

unacceptable!

2010-04-06T08:37:00.004-04:00

wow, i have not posted anything since christmas! not that you've been waiting by the computer for my return to the blogging world but i'm sorry for neglecting this and for neglecting you, all 6 of my readers.

as is true for most pregnant women, i am obsessed with myself and this baby right now. it's probably very irritating for those around me but everyone, at least, pretends to be as obsessed as i am!

i am officially into my third trimester now - at the end of this week i will be 30 weeks along. the baby is due at the end of june sometime. the pregnancy has been less than the idyllic, euphoric experience i'd expected . i've had all the usual symptoms - nausea, heartburn (oh, the heartburn!), backache, round ligament pain, swelling, tenderness, stretching... etc. despite the challenges, though, i have wonderful moments of such complete joy with this life inside me. i love it when he/she kicks. i love looking up names. i love it when strangers give up their seats or carry something for me. i love how biological this whole process it. i know it's certainly spiritual but i'm really into how animalistic it is, too. how wild and connected to the earth it is.

we are planning a home birth with 2 wonderful midwives. if you have questions on that, i'd be happy to talk more. we just started taking our childbirth classes and are enjoying the other couples.

so, here are some lessons learned :
-do not travel to europe (or anywhere) during your first trimester. just hearing the german language flings me into memories of hanging over foreign toilets.
-do not google anything. at all.
-do take time out every day to listen to and feel your baby, preferably with your partner.
-do find a birth team that you trust and that listens to you.
-look at your body every day in the mirror with gratitude.
-never tell a pregnant woman how big she is, or ask her if she is carrying twins. just tell her she looks beautiful.

in other news, although definitely related (because everything is now related to having a baby!), spring has sprung here in camden! planting lettuce, taking walks, hanging out laundry, sitting on the porch have all become daily practices. what joy comes in the spring!

so, that's my update. i hope it was worth the wait. here is a pic of my belly. apparently i'm carrying wide (no surprise there) which means i'm having a girl... or a boy. depending on who you talk to.

Happy Christmas!

2009-12-26T12:25:00.008-05:00

fr. michael doesn't like the phrase "merry christmas", he thinks the word "merry" just doesn't do christmas justice. so he implores all of us to say happy or joyful christmas. and it has been! chris and i are in colorado, missing victor and the chickies, but loving the snow. it's still coming down and while i haven't left the house almost at all, i can see why someone would want to go play in it.

i hope it's snowing (or that something equally as magical is happening) wherever you are. christ has made his way into the world! happy christmas!

Happy Advent

2009-11-29T12:51:00.006-05:00

advent is probably my favorite time of the year. it's a time to prepare for Christmas and to sink into winter. the earth begins to get ready to hibernate, with a sense of expectation. for me, it's an expectation of Jesus and also, the expectation of our own little baby to come this summer. that's right, chris and i are going to have a baby! a friend of mine recently said that many times when scripture talks of waiting it refers to an active waiting. i am waiting and there's not much i can do to speed up the process but an expecting woman's wait is hardly idle. it's a waiting of preparation and anticipation. just like this advent season.

i also find a lot of meaning in the "sinking into winter". many of us go through mild (or otherwise) drepression during the winter and i am always ready to welcome in the spring time but the quiet, cold, dark winter holds so much depth and meaning. we try to use less electricity during the advent season in our house. we use oil lamps and candles when the sun goes down and it sometimes it really does feels like you're sinking...

i like this reading i found about advent:

"When the day dawns, let us all receive him. We go to the manger and worship. We give to him our gifts. We take his light to the poor. Until then, we are the poor, the weak, the blind, the lonely, the guilty and the desperate. We light candles because we who are in darkness are in need of a great light. We need a savior. So we wait amidst the ruins, we protect the lights we hold in hope. We sing to one who is coming. We look and wonder. We pray for his star to take us, once again, to the miracle."

Europe!

2009-11-07T08:04:00.005-05:00

i'm sorry for the month-long blog hiatus... you know how it is. during that time, though, we did travel to holland, germany and switzerland! we were able to go because of Jesus For President stuff. so chris and his co-author were mostly speaking at churches and i just tagged along. we had a great time and met great people. it is so wonderful and embarrassing that everyone (a lot of people) in europe speaks english. the catholic/protestant dynamic was also fascinating... i haven't learned much about it but i know that when chris mentioned we were catholic many found it shocking and confusing. the church is divided everywhere but i really felt the deep divisions in europe. knowing a bit about the history of the church in europe, of course, sheds some light on why things may be the way they are. we had some good conversations about it and i think that there are folks over there wanting to bridge those gaps.

so here are some photos! (they are not in order...)

country side in holland

utrecht, holland

basel, switzerland over the rhine (river)

rhine river

and again...

cute little goat at st. crischona in switzerland

switzerland

the home we stayed at in switzerland

the church at st. chrischona

the 5 little goats and the mean old wolf (in marburg, germany)

beautiful church in marburg

happy birthday chris...

2009-10-09T07:25:00.005-04:00

Happy birthday honey!!

I love you!
Sorry about the funny pictures.

the first fruits

2009-09-15T11:40:00.001-04:00

of our chickens...

updates.

2009-08-29T17:27:00.005-04:00

so, it's been awhile. you know, i just haven't had the energy to post much in these last couple of weeks. it's been hot... so hot. and i've been lazy.

what you've missed is the growth of our chickens... and my chili peppers. you've missed the wonderful time we spent with our great friends and godson. you've missed chris' first day as an adjunct professor at cabrini college in PA. you've missed our trip "down the shore" with more great friends and today you're missing the loads of fun we're having with libby, the pup we are dogsitting for a few days. because of all you've missed i thought a pictorial (can that be a noun?) would be the best way to get you in the loop.

super cool godson

super cool monkey

professor haw

cute kid!

turbulent seas

so many jellyfish! or implants...

victor

libby

funny. and smart.

2009-08-12T20:32:00.002-04:00

go watch this video.
i like john stewart so much and i also like, maybe partly because some people are so irrational and silly and vilifying towards him, president obama. despite my desire to keep my hope out of the political realm, i think he's smart and cares about people in this country. he's not trying to kill anyone's grandmother.

a review of sorts...

2009-08-11T21:48:00.003-04:00

for the last couple of months i have been in a woman's group going through the book, "traveling with the turtle". i very much recommend joining a group doing this study to women who are interested in women's spirituality and peacemaking. the readings are phenonmenal and the exercises, while usually out of my comfort zone, have surprised me in their depth and relevance. in fact, the only criticism i have for this study is that, while it is written and compiled by two catholic women, is doesn't seem to have a lot of specifically christian content in it. i think there is enough about women's spirituality and women's issues in the scriptures, in other christian writings and in the life of jesus to be included. but i have loved going through this book! and i always love meeting with other women who care about god, justice, and peacemaking. so take a look.

melon salsa

2009-07-30T16:44:00.004-04:00

i found this great recipe for cantaloupe salsa that i wanted to share... it's amazing! this picture doesn't do it justice - it's so bright and fresh looking. i used my wonderful thai chilies to kick it up a bit.

Makes about 2 cups of salsa

2 cups diced cantaloupe
1/4 cup diced (1/4 inch) sweet onion (such as Vidalia) or red onion
2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil or cilantro
1 (2-inch-long) fresh hot red or green chile (skip the seeds if you want to dim the heat), minced
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1/4 teaspoon salt

Mix everything and eat immediately.

...

2009-07-25T21:45:00.003-04:00

can i just share with you how ridiculously gorgeous these 2 people are? and these are just their engagement photos... the wedding was beautiful!

congratulations amber and nate!

teapot.

2009-07-25T20:58:00.011-04:00

chris is super proud of his newest creation and you know what, i am too. it's great and really shows how far he's come as a potter. so here it is (unglazed): teapot.

in other, related news, we had an arts event with some local artists in our home a couple of days ago. chris, and our friend ben, sold pottery, melissa sold thai goods from an initiative called "warm heart", and blew made and sold wonderful coffee drinks through her travelling coffee house, leotah's place. it was an experiment and it went really well. so, we'll do it again in the first few days of december and invite more people and maybe more artists as well. i'll keep you posted!

blew's coffee was amazing. some of the best i've had... and she can do the leaf thing with foam, you know what i mean.

home sweet home.

2009-07-18T18:35:00.006-04:00

we're finally home and enjoying ourselves immensely. well, chris is throwing tons of pottery to make us some money and i've been complaining about the humidity. but we've also been spending time with our chickens (they love frozen watermelon and cooked spaghetti) and in the garden and we saw the newest harry potter movie, which i liked and the theater was a great respite from the heat.

i thought i'd share some photos from our garden and chickens... and one of our car carrying our big canoe. the canoe was my dad's and i have many memories of being on the rivers and lakes with him. i'm happy to have it.

i think when cucumbers turn yellow, that's usually bad. ?

thai chili peppers!

i love zinnias!

Color Of Change

2009-07-10T15:08:00.002-04:00

Some of you may have heard about a news story in Philadelphia involving a public swimming pool canceling the membership of a summer camp made up of mostly black kids.

When the campers entered the pool, white parents took their kids out of the water, and the swimming club's staff asked the campers to leave. The next day, the club told the summer camp that their membership would be canceled and that they would refund their money. When asked why, the club's leader said the "kids would change the complexion ... and the atmosphere of the club."

This is outrageous and disgusting. If you feel the same way one small thing you can do is send a letter to the owners and staff at the pool through Color Of Change. I hope you'll consider it.

Thanks!

can't help myself

2009-07-09T12:17:00.001-04:00

look at this beautiful family.

my talented husband

2009-07-09T12:02:00.002-04:00

chris wrote an article for RELEVANT Magazine to be found in their july/august issue titled "Just A Phone?". it's smart and sobering-ly funny and thought provoking. it made me stop and question my decisions, a habit chris can often provoke. it's irritating. :)

so, go check it out! click on RELEVANT and go to page 27. it's also in print at most magazine stands!

chris has some critique and appreciation for RELEVANT on his blog, if you're interested.

farms, and babies, and flowers.

2009-07-08T18:53:00.005-04:00

colorado has been lovely! it's so sunny (and really hot) during the day and gets cloudy and cool in the evening - and we've had some great thunder and lightening storms! we've been doing a lot of yard work, a lot of eating and a lot of spending time with friends. i love it here and it will be hard to leave. below are some photos of our friend deb and her wonderful farm, our nephew and my sister-in-law, huge copper kettles at the Coors Company in Golden, and some pretty, backyard flowers.

1 down, 3 going strong

2009-07-08T18:37:00.003-04:00

sadly, we have found out that "melissa" is a rooster and so we must take him back to the farm. "melissa" is the prettiest of our chickens and "he" will be missed. oh well.

below is an old picture of "melissa" and it really shows off my photography skills. not really.

home... kinda.

2009-06-27T17:30:00.006-04:00

a couple of days ago we arrived in colorado after many days of travel, family and friends. it is good to be home - in one of our homes, at least. we've been sleeping, reading, gardening and hanging out with my mom. on our travels we went to ohio, the chicago area, northern minnesota and des moines. we were in mn to celebrate my g-ma's 80th birthday and were able to spend time with family we never see. i love minnesota - the lakes and the birch trees and particularly my family's log homes and cabins (not particularly the mosquitoes and deer flies). pictures are below!

Earth 2100

2009-06-08T16:51:00.003-04:00

i really enjoyed (trembled through) this* special on ABC.com. if you have an hour and half and are concerned about the state of our earth you should check it out. disclaimer: i can't vouch for the complete accuracy of this information. it does seem like there are respected and wise voices speaking in it and that what they are proposing are reasonable, albeit difficult and honest, avenues of change.

*click on "this", click on free episodes, click on ABC News Specials, click on Earth 2100 part 1

as promised...

2009-06-01T15:25:00.003-04:00

here are some pics and a video of our pullets. (just dropping some chicken terminology) we named them, affectionately, michael doyle (the black one), melissa (the red one), cheryl (the one with white spots), and timothy (the one with gray spots). this could be a bad idea once it's time to make chicken soup but, for now, it's funny to see if the chicken personalities match up to the people personalities.

chickens! (really)

2009-05-30T12:20:00.003-04:00

so the time has finally come to have our very own urban chickens! we pick them up this evening from our dear friends. we hope we will be good chicken parents, that our dog won't eat them, that they will be happy layers, and that it won't be too scary when the time comes to give them new life in the roasting and grilling worlds. :)

here is our empty coop/run. it is movable so they can eat bugs, weeds and especially ticks all over the yard. we may clip their wings so they can range all about the backyard, otherwise they would easily fly over the fence and be goners. we will retrieve the eggs from the box on the right of the coop, where the laying will hopefully happen.

heeding god's call...

2009-05-26T18:51:00.003-04:00

i wanted to share an editorial about some friends who were involved in a recent act of civil disobedience in Philadelphia around straw purchases of hand guns. they were arrested when they chose to sit down at a gun shop after the owner refused to sign a reasonable statement of intent to reduce straw purchasing of guns (when people buy guns in bulk and then sell them on the streets). their trial was today and they were acquitted of all charges! the editorial is great!

Editorial: Heed their call

If there's any justice in a courtroom in Philadelphia today, a judge will find 12 faith-based activists not guilty of trespassing charges.

The defendants are surely guilty. They are guilty of trying to stem the bloody tide of gun violence in the city.

They were arrested in January at Colosimo's Gun Center on Spring Garden Street, where they attempted to get owner James Colosimo to sign a code of conduct to reduce "straw purchases" of handguns. Colosimo has refused.

Their targets include other gun shops, although Colosimo's is the worst source of handguns used in crimes on city streets. The defendants are an Episcopal rector, a rabbi, a Brethren minister, and others who have formed a group called Heeding God's Call. The group of religious institutions includes representatives of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Philadelphia and the Friends Yearly Meeting.

They are working to extend their effort throughout Pennsylvania, to involve other congregations in Lancaster County, Chester, Harrisburg, and elsewhere. Philadelphia isn't the only city plagued by handgun violence.

There is moral force in their movement. About 2,000 people are wounded and about 300 killed by gunfire each year in Philadelphia alone. The faith community members say it's the duty of congregations everywhere to promote peace and safety. To be your brother's keeper.

The 10-point code of conduct was created last year by a national coalition of mayors, including Mayor Nutter, and Wal-Mart - the largest seller of rifles and shotguns in the country.

Dealers who take the pledge agree to videotape all of their firearms transactions and participate in a computerized gun-trace log that will identify buyers whose previous gun purchases were used in crimes.

They also agree to conduct criminal background checks on employees and train them to deter illegal purchasers. The code states that dealers should accept only federal or state photo IDs.

The purpose of the code is to reduce the number of straw purchases in Pennsylvania, something the legislature has been unwilling to do. "Straw buyers" purchase handguns in bulk legally at a gun shop, then peddle the firearms to others on the street. The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives has repeatedly notified Colosimo's that its guns end up in the hands of criminals.

But Pennsylvania legislators in the grip of the National Rifle Association have refused to enact commonsense gun laws that would curb this illegal practice. The simple requirement that a gun owner must report any lost or stolen weapon would foil many straw purchasers, who try to claim that guns used in crimes were misplaced or stolen from them.

Pennsylvania also should limit handgun purchases to one per month to thwart legal buyers who are fronting for gun traffickers.

The members of Heeding God's Call also intend to bring their message to the pulpits of legislators' home congregations. They hope that building grassroots support across the state will change some minds in Harrisburg.

The dozen activists who are scheduled to go on trial today may have overstayed their welcome at a gun shop. But their movement is decidedly welcome in this city and state.

labyrinth in camden!

2009-05-19T18:22:00.002-04:00

on saturday many residents and friends of our neighborhood in camden came together to build a labyrinth - a place for us to pray for the transformation of ourselves and of waterfront south. i wasn't able to be there but i wanted to post this video that andrea made of the building. enjoy!

yes, a belly.

2009-05-12T07:42:00.004-04:00

i wanted to (just couldn't help myself) show you a picture of my beautiful pregnant friend's belly! in case she doesn't want a close up picture of her stomach on the internet, i will keep her face hidden. :)

(her belly normally does not have designs on it, we were trying to encourage the little one to turn with our art)

wires in the sky

2009-05-02T21:41:00.004-04:00

i was sitting on my porch this evening, looking up towards the sky and realized that no matter where i am (at least in my neighborhood), just 20 ft above my head, are power lines. maybe this isn't an astounding revelation, certainly an obvious one, but these wires have become so normal i don't even notice that, at all times, electricity is vibrating above me. at all times. and it's normal. i don't even notice them. that's so weird. and unsettling.

Christ is risen!

2009-04-12T10:16:00.006-04:00

happy, happy easter to everyone! what a wonderful day!

i want to fill you in on our holy week and easter celebrations! i feel very privileged to live in camden during this week. resurrection is such a real phenomenon in our neighborhood - so much is dying and so much is rising.

on wednesday we had our seder meal which is, as far as i can tell, pretty traditional. we have the wine and the green vegetable and the bitter herbs and the matzoh and the lamb. (which means lamb curry later that week for us!) as a continuation of that meal we have our maundy thursday mass (my favorite) which commemerates the last supper of jesus and his disciples - we have our hands washed in perfumed water and participate in the adoration of the eucharist. on friday, the most somber of the week, we have our stations of the cross. (pictured below) at each station, while we remember jesus' last hours, we also remember someone who has been killed in our neighborhood. later that day we have our good friday mass - it's very quiet and contemplative as we read the passion story and kiss the feet of jesus.

the culmination of it all, of course, is the easter morning vigil at 4:30 am. it's hard to wake up so ridiculously early but there is no doubt that it's worth it. we hear the creation story read and as adam and eve are banished from the garden we are sent out into the cold, down into the "tomb" (basement) where we hear the exodus story and the resurrection story read. once we declare that christ has risen we process through the neighborhood as the sun rises, ringing bells, swinging incense and singing alleluia. the music is jubilent and we are swept up in the joy of the resurrection.

there is, of course, so much nuance and beauty in the details of these events but for the sake of the length of this post, you just get the gist.

after all that we have our annual easter morning breakfast with all of the foods we have given up for lent. ice cream, candy, cake (and other more healthy and typical breakfast foods!)

so, now, we are exhausted and hyped up on sugar... here are some photos:

these ladies are doing their own version of "christmas caroling" on easter - bringing friends forsythia. so nice.

the rite of reconciliation

2009-04-07T17:25:00.003-04:00

for me, holy week began friday night with the rite of reconciliation. now, i grew up with the idea that confession, certainly planned confession with a priest, was silly, useless, even wrong, but this simple, profound practice in our church has come to mean a great deal to me. i love that father michael tells us that the most important, the most difficult job, of a priest is to communicate, not judgement or even absolution, but how much God loves us and the depth of God's forgiveness. confession in all it's forms, to God, to friends, to ourselves, to our pastor or priest, seems like a good idea to me.

i wanted to share a reflection someone read at the service.

Forgive us for not knowing or not wanting to know.
Forgive me Jesus for not fully knowing your humanity. I saw that like a brother, you wept in the arms of Mary and Martha. Forgive me for not knowing you needed companionship, needed love.

Forgive me for not seeing the fullness of humanity in the prostitute that walks the streets of Broadway, or the men who hover around the liquor store or in front of our church and hopes for a dollar for this next drink or the lonely woman who needs another kind word or the people lying on park benches.

Forgive me for not seeing they hurt, this is their crucifixion. Forgive me for avoiding eye contact with them, for parking in a different place or walking on the other side of the street.

Give me courage Mother/Father god for face to face reconciliation—forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.
Give our beloved community, Divine One courage to forgive.

Courage to forgive the little things: How has disappointment, a slight, a thoughtlessness, an angry word nestled into your heart and hardening your heart to tenderness and joy of the God Presence in the Other?
Give us courage Mother/Father god for face to face reconciliation—forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.

and more deeply...

What wounds do I carry that I have not forgiven?

I have been told a lie. I believed a lie. I believed that god is a man. –our father.
I have been told that I am created in the image and likeness of God. But god is a man. I could not have been totally created in the image and likeness of god.

And I am reminded daily that I have a different value as a women. We cannot bless the Eucharist because we are different, we cannot fully participate in the sacraments because we are different, we cannot be a part of leadership in our church because we are different.
There is something inherently wrong with me. I have this cloud of guilt and shame that I am not good enough

I cry out to you Mother/Father Divine give me the courage to awaken from these lies of self-negation. And forgive, for only in forgiving can I rise above the guilt and shame to speak truth to power.

I have been told lies about my body. It is not thin enough, it is not pretty enough, it is not young enough, it is too seductive, it is too masculine. As women, we are measured by the amount of children we have, by the amount of children we do not have, we are the ones that have the abortions, and we are the ones who "bring rape on ourselves".

I cry out to you Mother/Father Divine me the courage to awaken from these lies, give me a deepening appreciation of the Feminine Divine, the power to create, the powerful gift of giving. So that I may have burning zeal care for your creation.

happy birthday dad

2009-04-02T07:24:00.002-04:00

I miss you.

movie review!

2009-03-11T16:42:00.004-04:00

i wanted to share about a great movie i got for my birthday and finally watched this last week. i saw parts of what babies want years ago and have thought about the clips ever since. i was concerned that it might be a movie that would make mothers and fathers-to-be feel more pressure than they already do to make their baby's entrance into the world safe and healthy but it turns out that "what babies want" inspires and comforts. i highly recommend it if you're someone who has had children, is going to have children, or is just obsessed with babies and birth like me!

CONSPIRE

2009-03-08T15:03:00.004-04:00

i'm a part of a little publication initiative called conspire... if you like to read magazines, or consider yourself a writer or an artist read below! (oh, and check the website for where you can a copy of the first issue, coming out april 1st)

DATE: Summer 2009 (July)

GENERAL THEME: Revolutionary Acts

WHAT WE’RE LOOKING FOR:

When it is yellow do you let it mellow? Have you U-locked your neck to a war plane? Do you know a guy who knows a guy who went to Gaza? Do you have a Ché T-shirt? Do you only ride a bike? Do you only eat food that fell from the vine? Do you only eat food that came from a dumpster? Do you spend a good bit of your time paralyzed by the fact that at any moment what you do could oppress someone somewhere?

For those of us who are desperate for the kingdom on earth, revolutionary acts can be the fringe version of “keeping up with the Jones. “ In this issue, we explore what transformative and healing change really look like. In what ways can our revolutionary acts inspire and build up? In what ways can they destroy community or be destructive? What exactly is that true balance of fearless leadership, gentle spirit, pure motive, and organic, fair- trade living?

We aren’t trying to impress each other here, but to really work with the powerful—and the icky—sides of revolutionary acts.

Here is your chance to probe mystery of an insistent call and the consequences (physical and spiritual) of taking a stand. In part, we imagine a compendium of amazing and inspiring ideas shared by creative souls. But if we are honest, we’ll also grapple with some of the spiritual byproducts of revolutionary living--good and bad. Does it set us free, and how? Does it unleash ego, judgementalism, the need to prove something (what? to whom?). What are the spiritual fruits of failure or the challenges of success?

Tell us a story-- your own or the story of someone you know. Whisper your dreams of a new way.

We are looking for various kinds of materials: Articles: Articles can range from 200 to 1,500 words, Artwork & Photography, Poetry, Short Fiction, Reviews, Letters To The Editors

The deadline for submissions is April 20, 2009.

Send queries to: editors@conspiremagazine.com

WHO WE ARE: Conspire! is a quarterly publication that shares stories of community, revolutionary love, and creative new visions. Conspire! stubbornly insists that small, daily acts of faith, conviction, and integrity can change the world.

List of Community Co-conspirators: The Simple Way, AWIP, Rutba House, New Providence Community Church, Servants Vancouver, Flood, Centurions Purse, Camden Community Houses, Transforming Leader's House, Alternative Seminary, Walnut Hills Fellowship, Christian Communites International, Hyaets, Lahash International, Conspiring For Coatesville, Harlem House, Coral House Community, Raising Micah, Circle Venture, DC Area Community of Communities, Reimagine, Nehemiah House, The Banner House, Communality, Solomon's Porch, Circle Venture, Mulberry House, Tolstoy House, Hyaets, Detroit Villages Lahash International, Reba Place, Relational Tithe, and more to come...

www.conspiremagazine.com

a little late...

2009-02-24T12:56:00.003-05:00

it's way past vietnamese new year but i finally got around to uploading a video of the dragon dance in my neighborhood. the vietnamese community in camden dance for us and light fire crackers to celebrate their new year. it's one of my favorite days of the year. 2 of my students were in the dance, one as a buddha an another as the tail of the smaller dragon. chuc mung nam moi!

snow!

2009-02-08T09:30:00.007-05:00

we finally had a good snow fall here - a whopping 4 inches!! but it was lovely. i went out in the morning in my slippers and took some pictures. enjoy our little city winter wonderland!

also, as a side note, our dog, victor, just had a little surgery and had to wear to cutest purple cast! so sad for him but funny for us. pictures are below. oh and i'll include some of our newly rehabbed (still in the process of finishing the rehab actually) living room.

women's midwinter retreat

2009-02-08T09:03:00.003-05:00

i was fortunate enough to be a part of a wonderful women's gathering last weekend in new hampshire! it was hosted by a kindred spirit in her little country cottage. we gathered around the wood stove and talked and laughed and cried a bit. we shared about our struggles of being christians in a Church that historically overlooks the contributions and presence of women and we went deeper into those places where we have been welcomed. by st. julian of norwich, the catholic worker movement, some of our small communities, poets and writers, the scriptures, our mother god etc. we talked about becoming women more fully instead of what i sometimes see in parts of the feminist movement - suppressing gender and denying our differences as men and women.

some books we read and/or shared:
the dance of the dissident daughter by sue monk kid
caretakers of our common house by carol lakey hess
she who is by elizabeth johnson
is it ok to call god mother? by paul smith

and here are some photos: (what an idyllic place to live and work and raise children!)

hm.

2009-02-08T08:35:00.002-05:00

i am due for another update because a lot of fun and great things have happened in the last couple of weeks. until then though... my friend forwarded me this video and i wanted to share it. be careful, it'll pull you in with some thoughtful lyrics, good musicians and singers, diversity and clergy but if you're a christian the phrase "a born again american" should make you very uncomfortable.

yuck

2009-01-29T08:28:00.002-05:00

well, we've had a stomach flu outbreak here. 4 teachers have had it so far (myself included) not counting kids who, i'm sure, are the source of the outbreak. it's terrible so make sure you are keeping yourself healthy wherever you are.

i've been laying around, sipping water, nibbling on saltines, and watching bad television for the last couple of days b u t i did find this song on the stomach flu that made me laugh.

the stomach flu rap

it's devastating...

2009-01-24T22:46:00.002-05:00

it's devastating that people can create so much evil. i don't doubt that we all have the capacity to engage in the type of atrocities i keep reading about in gaza but i am shocked at the leaders and military personnel in israel... and continue to be shocked by my own government from whom israel receives most of it's weapons.

take a minute and read the article "'Phosphorus wounds' alarm Gazans", not simply for the sake of being sobered but because we need to be paying attention.

a little hiatus

2009-01-24T17:42:00.004-05:00

chris and i just got back from a very relaxing week of vacation with his parents during which i read a wonderful book that i have been coveting for some time. i found it at a book store that is sadly going out of business (one of the last few independent bookstores in philly) at half price.

i love this book! it was wonderful and i will be making ravioli as soon as possible along with many of the recipes in the book. i also really want to go back to italy.

just had to share that...

here are some photos from our trip...

...

2009-01-07T13:12:00.000-05:00

awful

epiphany

2009-01-04T14:52:00.005-05:00

i can't help but be sad and overwhelmed in the first few days of this new year. at lunch today we sat around the table sharing news we had all learned over the last week or so of being apart. most of the news was sad news. stories of separations and divorce, of drugs and violence and death. i came home and read accounts of the violence in gaza and was brought deeper into this sadness.

and today is the day that we celebrate the 3 kings bringing baby jesus gifts. at church this morning our deacon shared stories of this celebration in puerto rico where he's from - such anticipation of this day, when poor families like his feasted and became like children in the face of a beautiful story of a baby born in a stable. if the birth of jesus illuminates anything for me it is that we are called to be peacemakers. children are often peacemakers, refusing to let where someone is from or how much money they make or what language they speak affect how they are treated.

i found this article about christmas time and peace below that moved me. enjoy...

*****

Holly Harman Fackler: Thinking about peace during this busy holiday season

By HOLLY HARMAN FACKLER • News Journal • December 28, 2008

The final week of the year is a ponderous one for me. The renewed hope and anticipation brought by Christmas spills right over into a fitful glance back at the year almost over and an optimistic setting of intentions for the year about to start.
Advertisement

While marking time Thursday, I pulled Maya Angelou's "Celebrations" from my shelf and found a poem that fit the season.

From "Amazing Peace," written for the lighting of the National Christmas Tree on Dec. 1, 2005, I read: "Hope is born again in the faces of children./ It rides on the shoulders of our aged as they walk into their sunsets./ Hope spreads around the earth, brightening all things,/ Even hate, which crouches breeding in dark corridors.

"In our joy, we think we hear a whisper ..."

That whisper, Angelou reveals a few lines later, is the word "peace." It starts out soft but builds until it overcomes the sounds of war.

Angelou wants to -- wants those of every religious leaning to -- keep the peace of Christmas around "So we may learn by your shimmering light/ How to look beyond complexion and see community." From this common ground of Christmas, setting aside hate, "we can create a language/ To translate ourselves to ourselves and to each other."

Angelou's sentiments made me think again of southern Ohio's Peggy Gish, one of the "aged" who is carrying peace on her shoulders to the ordinary people of Iraq as part of Christian Peacemaker Teams International. During a May phone interview, I asked her -- as a grandmother who walks unarmed with "enemies" in a land of war, spreading hope, lighting up dark corridors -- what ordinary Americans could do on behalf of peace.

She had these ideas:

# Teach the kids: Integrate peacemaking with children's learning and activities.

# Reach out: Use interactions in organizations and meetings to model peacemaking skills.

# Learn more: Supplement reports by mainstream media with information from other media around the world for a clearer picture of what is going on.

# Speak out: Once you have clarity, tell what you know. "Write letters to the editor. That's democracy in action."

# Make friends: Take part or initiate efforts to bring people of different backgrounds together to develop friendships and diffuse prejudices.

# Reduce your oil dependence: "It (peace, social justice and natural resource use) all goes together. We want to try to live it out as much as we can."

# Find other people: Peacemaking is hard work and needs the support of a loving community around it. Hook up with local peace groups or with groups and resources sponsored by the historic peace churches (Mennonites, Society of Friends/Quakers, Church of the Brethren).

(see more on peggy and art)

Like Angelou, like Gish, like a colleague who told me that we're going to have to learn to be neighbors to make it through "this thing" -- I'm hoping that we'll all "make our way to higher ground" -- together.

On Wednesday, I put the check into the mailbox that would allow a son to spend his next semester studying abroad. Yesterday, I said goodbye, again, to another son and my daughter-in-law, who return Monday to the West Coast, where they follow their own path to peace and understanding. My youngest is still deciding where next year will find her, but it will be away.

On Friday, we gathered at last around the table for "my" Christmas dinner.

It didn't matter that it wasn't Christmas Day or that it was the third of four or fourth of five Christmas dinners my kids would have in the space of a few days. It didn't matter that the menus were roughly the same, or that one dish or another weren't quite up to a standard set in an earlier year, or that the tree had significantly fewer gifts under it.

What mattered was that we were -- however briefly -- safe and together to support each other's journeys in material ways and as cheerleaders.

I like the trappings of Christmas, the adornments of life. I like the extras. But when things go lean and spare, it's easier to see the bones that hold it all together. The bones must get their due now. When they do, they'll rise again.

god have mercy

2008-12-30T10:23:00.002-05:00

some news headlines for the last few days....

Gaza Death Toll Tops 375

The death toll in Gaza has reached at least 375 as Israel’s attack on Gaza has entered its fourth day. More than 1,600 Palestinians have been wounded and hospitals are running out of medicines and other products needed to treat them.
Israel Vows to Wage “War to the Bitter End”

On Monday, Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak said Israel is in a “war to the bitter end against Hamas and its kind.” Israel has rejected calls for a ceasefire, and Israeli troops and tanks continue to mass on the border of Gaza preparing for a possible ground invasion. Israel has declared the area around the Gaza border a closed military zone, ordering out journalists.
UN: 64 Palestinian Civilians Killed

Earlier today, Israeli warplanes dropped at least sixteen bombs on five government buildings in Gaza, destroying them and starting several fires. An Israeli air strike in northern Gaza killed two Palestinian sisters, aged four and eleven. The girls were killed when they left their house to dump the family’s garbage. On Monday, an Israeli air strike destroyed a home in the Jabalya refugee camp, killing five sisters. The five girls were between four and seventeen years old. In another incident, eight Palestinian students, ages eighteen to twenty, were killed while waiting for a UN bus to take them home. The United Nations said at least sixty-four Palestinian civilians have died since Saturday.
Four Israelis Killed in Palestinian Rocket Attacks

The Israeli attacks have not prevented Palestinian militants from firing rockets into southern Israel. On Monday, Palestinians fired at least seventy rockets, killing two Israeli civilians and a soldier. The dead included an Israeli woman in the town of Ashdod who was killed from shrapnel wounds while taking cover from incoming rockets at a bus stop. The Israeli death toll since Saturday now stands at four.

joyeux noel

2008-12-27T10:26:00.003-05:00

merry, merry christmas! i hope everyone had a restful and mindful celebration! chris and i are with both sides of our family in denver and enjoying them (the new baby!) and the beautiful weather.

i wanted to share with you a wonderful movie that we watched on christmas day together. it depicts the truces of christmas eve on the fronts lines of WWI in 1914. it is beautifully done and so inspiring. it gives me a small bit of hope for peace, if not in the world, than in the possibility of it in some of us. watch the trailer here. and then go rent it.

oh and here is a less than recent picture of our nephew! he's so much bigger now!

brother mickey o'neill mcgrath

2008-12-13T18:23:00.004-05:00

i wanted to share the art of a very talented person i heard speak last night! i've been buying his christmas cards for a few years now and having a print of his hanging in my house.

the holy family

mary visiting elizabeth (perfect for advent!)

i love his work and hearing him speak and seeing more of his paintings was wonderful. if you like iconic art and have a good sense of humor you may like him. visit him here.

Boston College

2008-12-05T11:14:00.004-05:00

well, friends. here we are in boston, ma visiting the esteemed jesuit university, boston college.

i don't know if all my many, many readers (ha!) know that chris is considering getting his PHD and that the place we're most seriously considering is boston college. there are so many factors contributing to the decision to come to boston it's overwhelming. we love most parts of our life in camden and if we leave there's a good possibility we'll never find the wonderful things we have there anywhere else, ever again. but this would be the time for chris to get his doctorate if he wants to teach and this is one of the best programs out there, having most of the things chris would want in his study.

anyway, so far the campus is beautiful and the weather is cold. we will explore this area today and tomorrow our wonderful friends will be meeting us in the city and we'll explore boston - and figure out if we can even afford to live here.

any boston "musts"? places we have to go, food we have to eat?

51 gone

2008-12-01T14:59:00.005-05:00

on the sunday before the beginning of advent season we remember those who have been murdered in camden city and camden county since the last november. last year there were 46 (if i remember correctly) people murdered. this year there have been 51 men, women and children murdered in camden city and 7 murdered in the county. this is the highest number in the last several years. at this point, camden is back at the top having been named the #2 most dangerous city in the nation.

we pray for those who have died, for those who have been left behind and for our city, that we would stop this madness.

yesterday, the first sunday of advent, our church celebrated and blessed the pregnant women among us. i love that this celebration follows the remembrance of those murdered. i think it's hopeful and beautiful. unfortunately, i've been sick but i heard the mother's were lovely... one, more notably so, cheryl - our community-mate! we're very excited!

a post to update you.

2008-11-08T20:50:00.007-05:00

i'm having a hard time updating this thing recently. i blame it on the cooler weather, the overcast and rainy days, the need to curl up on my couch with my pooch. but i am back, for now, although still on the couch, under a blanket with victor.

speaking of victor, he's trouble. we love him but recently we discovered he has a side that we previously had not encountered. this week, on a nice fall afternoon outing, he killed an innocent squirrel. oh, it was the whole nine yards. blood. more blood than i care to rehash. yes, there are many a squirrel in my neighborhood and yes, they reek havoc so i am not sad to see one go but victor just seems to be different now.....

(his face has been blurred for his protection)

(chris had a great time on photo shop working on this photo of our newly hardened criminal but i'm a little creeped out by it.)

in other news, we had our dear friends darin, meeghan, guinn, and justice (our god son) visiting this last week. it was wonderful and crazy having a hyper 3 year old and a senile 87 year old here making us laugh and keeping us busy. i'll say it again, i wish i could have everyone i care about in the same place. why are we all so far away from each other?

i leave you with some pictures of the adorable justice. he is a handful but i just love how loving he is. he loves to share with you and take care of you. he's so good to "ninny" (guinn).

(by the way, i love picnik.com for photo editing - i really like the 1960's photo wash)

political musings

2008-10-27T20:11:00.005-04:00

chris and i just re-watched the 2004 documentary The Take. it tells the story of the factory takeover movement in argentina. (factories that were shut down by "the bosses" because of the massive amount of debts they racked up due, in part, to the salaries and excesses of those in charge. the workers took them over and kept them running, illegally, because they depended on their jobs and felt that these factories belonged to the people). it's a great film that has sparked lots of thought in me. we first saw it a few years ago at a christian anarchy conference and were troubled, as people with pacifist leanings, by the idea of violence (against law enforcement) and coercion. yet i was still deeply drawn in by people doing it themselves - not waiting for their city, state or national officials to do something but caring for each other, sharing power, and producing on their own terms. this time around watching the film sparked some new thoughts in me. i still find so much truth, hope and love (all of those!) in their stories and want to keep learning more about this movement. but i wondered if taking over factories, even for fair wages, was still playing the game of those in charge. producing things to be shipped somewhere else, like growing corn, none of which will be eaten by anyone within 300 miles of it, instead of creating things to be used locally. made by us for us. and yes, without large numbers of employees and a few bosses. i know these questions are easy for me to ask on my couch (on my laptop no less!), but i wonder about it in my own life too.

i wonder about it in this election. it's an election that has pulled me in and kept me interested and yet, i have to ask: am i playing the game of a system i struggle to find hope in? am i looking for a savior inside the united states of america? ok, so i know it's more nuanced than that and i also know i do hope that one of these men wins out over the other. but i want to remember that "our dreams don't fit on your ballots", as they say in latin america. and as a christian my dreams are so full and so alive they make a ballot seem like not much more than a piece of paper.

cleaning and baking

2008-10-18T17:13:00.003-04:00

i just deep cleaned and re-organized most of my kitchen (and dog proofed it - victor will eat any food he can get his paws on!) which makes me feel relaxed and happy. i don't know if you do this too but after i've cleaned a room really well i can't keep myself from walking back through every 20 minutes or so - just to feel a project done.

to celebrate my cleaning victory i decided to bake banana walnut muffins. they are delicious! you should try the recipe - it's definitely one of those that, as long as you have overripe banana's on hand, you probably have all the ingredients lying around. very yummy.

beautiful prize...

2008-10-10T15:31:00.002-04:00

for one lucky winner. go visit here to see it and spend some time reading about this family's experiences with homeschooling. very inspiring!

Happy Birthday Chris!!!

2008-10-08T20:55:00.004-04:00

i wanted to write a little tribute for my husband on his birthday. he is 27 today and deserves as wonderful a day as possible. he works so hard in school and at home, he's always thinking and writing and doing and even helping me (he doesn't even have to be asked to do the dishes!). i'm proud to know him and thankful to spend my life with him. i hope he feels loved and appreciated today.

traveling man.

not sure what he's doing here....

looking good

captivating audiences everywhere

amish

victor

2008-09-23T17:22:00.003-04:00

i just couldn't wait any longer! here are some pictures of victor from my phone.

i like.

2008-09-21T15:48:00.004-04:00

i found this on a friend's blog and liked it. i am not particularly against McCain (nor do i really trust either McCain or Obama) and want to be careful not to demonize a person or a group but i am a firm believer that if you are pro-life you must be pro-all life. i also appreciate that a fellow catholic shares this belief.

there's a chill in the air!

2008-09-20T11:00:00.004-04:00

i know i've been negligent in posting recently and that's because things have been so busy around here! also, i still don't have a camera and i tend to think that posts without pictures are sort of boring! (at least my own are) i don't have a camera yet because my wallet was stolen in a ritzy suburb on my date night with chris. so we've been very low on funds and a camera is not an option. (the bank should reimburse the funds stolen soon)

i am thrilled that fall is nearly here! one might call me giddy. i love that this season, in the midst of the last burst of life before winter, there are so many new babies on the horizon! chris' sister, heather, is due next month and my great friend holly is due at the end of this month... chris' best friend from high school is getting married soon too! i've always found a lot of depth in autumn and in the cycle of life that seems so clear to me at this time of year. i thinks it's almost more transformative than spring. i feel bittersweet to let go of warmth and life but almost ready to embrace quiet, empty winter. and i love the colors and flavors and smells and sweaters that accompany the fall.

tim, cheryl and our new-ish friend, art, and i went to the famer's market this morning and i felt i had to buy some zinnias and squash to welcome this season in. i love that i had to wear a long sleeve shirt and pants.

wonderful.

i leave you with some pictures of last fall.

why so humid?

2008-09-06T15:48:00.003-04:00

i can't remember a more sticky and uncomfortable day than today. i've finally stopped dripping now that i'm sitting still. yuck.

school started and my kids are cute and ill behaved. but still cute. i'll post pictures soon. (once i get a camera!)

i thought i'd share a little something. i had to look a lot of these up because i had no idea what they were. i think what this little "quiz" shows is that i am not a very cultured eater.

do this yourself and post the results.

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out (i can't figure out how to cross out so i will italicize anything that i wouldn't eat) any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding (what is this? I just looked it up… sick.)
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi – just recently – it was weird!
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55.McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill – this is questionable but fully depends on situation
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

i'm still kicking

2008-09-01T20:33:00.002-04:00

sorry for my lapse in posting. i'm waiting to get a new camera before i show you all the most recent addition to our family, victor. (our dog) he's great.

tomorrow is my first day back to school. i'm not looking forward to it at all for some reason. i think i may have a mild case of depression. i'm not looking forward to anything right now. i don't want to lay around but i don't want to do anything either. i don't want to be alone but i don't want to be with people. i suppose it's related to the transition and loss i've experienced in the last few months... nothing to be alarmed about. it will pass as i begin to and continue to process. but it's not a good way to start a new school year.

i'll post pictures of my cute new pup soon. any more recommendations on cameras?

from a victorian castle to the bruderhof

2008-08-24T08:52:00.004-04:00

so, now that we're home i found the time to get the pictures off of my phone and can finish telling you all about our fascinating trip.

the castle was amazing. we were the only guests that night which was a little creepy but the bed was so comfortable i didn't have any trouble sleeping. the grounds were gorgeous! i loved it. i recommend to anyone in the philly area if ever in need of a vacation go up to this area. it's only 2 1/2 hours away and is so beautiful and there's so much to do. do it.

from there we went to stay a night with the bellvale (bruderhof) community. any chance we get to spend with these folks we jump at. as per usual it was a restful and thoughtful visit. again, the weather was perfect and we visited chickens and goats and walked around the lake. we joined in their daily rhythm with family time, singing, a very local dinner and evening reflections. we sat around the fire with some of the members we met last time we visited and shared our frustrations and encouragements about community life. i always leave a visit to their communities feeling heard and appreciated and inspired. i respect that they don't see their model of community as the only way and really seek to learn from others. i appreciate their sense of humor and simplicity. i'm thankful for their interest and support of our community.

on the way home the next we got stuck in an almost 2 hour traffic jam. that was quite a juxtaposition - coming from simple, peaceful bellvale only to end up very frustrated and surrounded by hot, running cars.

here some (bad) photos in and around the castle.

anniversary trip

2008-08-22T09:41:00.003-04:00

Written August 20, 2008

I’m sorry for my lapse in communication! Chris and I left for our anniversary trip (4 years! Seems like a lot longer ;) ) a few days ago and made it safely to the warwick area of ny. We are getting used to breathing deeply and pulling blankets over our shoulders in the evenings. The weather has been absolutely beautiful. Cool mornings and nights and warm, sunny days. We are staying at a B&B on a quiet rode, in a lovely room. We’ve spent time in little shops (the most wonderful candle shop) and eaten yummy meals. We’ve gone on a couple of bike rides through the “black dirt” region and visited some of wineries. Now, I don’t drink wine but I have to admit, I like the novelty of it. Chris actually enjoys it and today the winery we visited had a bocce ball court. So, Chris destroyed me. It was fun. Kind of. On our bike rides we passed the most beautiful purple and yellow fields and farm lands. We rode by a pile of old barn wood and asked the woman outside of it if we could take some, so tomorrow, we’ll load up the car and dream up uses for the stuff. Tonight we are trying to stay awake to go to the drive in and see the dark knight (who’s idea do you think that was?) at 10:00pm! Way passed my bed time.

Tomorrow we head over the castle we’re staying at. Crazy. It looks nice. It’s set in botanical gardens. We hope to do a little hiking and celebrating our matrimony. More reflections on that later.

Being out in the country has made us reflect more on a rural life, something chris and I both have considered before and hope to make a reality one day. We realized that either option (city/Camden life and rural life, possibly close to family) is missing what the other offers. The options we are aware of at this point for a rural life are closer to family but have no clear (as of yet) community or church life or diversity. It wouldn’t be nearly as local a life as the one we have in Camden so we’d have to drive more. But, on the other hand, we’d like to convert to veggie oil anyway… and our hypothetical kids would have space and we’d have space to offer up for folks in the city to have a respite. We could have a more ‘deeply’ local life growing food, having access to water from a well, living in a straw bale home etc… but leaving Camden would be leaving community. And not just the Camden houses but our neighbors and our church… but in Camden we’re so far from family. Ahhh! I’m hoping the choice becomes more obvious in the coming years.

Hopefully I'll have some pictures soon - our camera is broken so I've been using my phone. Anyone have a good camera they'd recommend?

chickens in the city?

2008-08-11T09:35:00.003-04:00

chris and i spent a few hours in a book store (on a lovely rainy day. sounds perfect doesn't it?) reading about how to keep chickens in the city. we feel pretty sure about trying it out this year. we'd like to get a dog at the same time as we order chickens so they can get to know each other... so as soon as we find a dog we'll get our hens.

we're getting them primarily for eggs and love. we love chickens!

i'm trying to find a local poultry society or club here but as is typical with my beloved south jersey, things that would be helpful for sustainable living or urban homesteading are difficult to find - possibly non-existent.

if anyone has connections to jersey chicken lovers or has a tip or advice, please share it!

summer storm

2008-08-10T20:01:00.004-04:00

darin, chris and i were just fortunate enough to have a summer storm descend up on us! it's been raining all day and i've loved it but about 30 minutes ago at 8pm, just as the light was fading, the sky exploded in a washed out-ish yellow-golden color. it was still raining and there, above our neighbors house, was a rainbow!

pottery and once.

2008-08-03T10:16:00.007-04:00

i wanted to show off one of my husband's many talents: pottery. here are some pictures for your enjoyment.

in other news, tonight we finally saw the movie once. i'm always the last one to do/see/hear/experience cool things so i bet all of you have already seen this film. but if by some strange chance you haven't, please do!! even chris loved it. the music is beautiful and the characters are so endearing.

muffins and friends.

2008-07-31T09:54:00.000-04:00

yesterday was a full day. aside from all the photos i took and posted, chris and i biked to the library and checked out some books. i checked out falling leaves by adeline yen mah. looks good. then i made some strawberry rhubarb muffins with leftover, frozen rhubarb from earlier this summer. the recipe can be found on soulemama. i used lemon peel instead of orange - i'd recommend not using lemon. but they were still yummy.

and this week is our community's 5 yr. anniversary of being together and in camden! so last night we celebrated with the people at our church who have taken good care of us. i read an excerpt from jean vanier's community and growth that at least is a good basis for what i believe community is.

"'my people' are my community, which is both the small community, those who live together, and the larger community which surrounds it and for which it is there. 'my people' are those who are written in my flesh as i am in theirs. whether we are near each other or far away, my brothers and sisters remain written within me. i carry them, and they, me; we recognize each other again when we meet. to call them my people doesn't mean that i feel superior to them, or that i am their shepherd or that i look after them. it means that they are mine as i am theirs. there is a solidarity between us. what touches them, touches me. and when i say 'my people', i don't imply that there are others i reject. my people is my community, made up of those who know me and carry me. they are a springboard towards all humanity. i cannot be a universal brother or sister unless i first love 'my people'."

these 5 yrs. have been so formative, so wonderful, so difficult. they have given me a trust in god's provision that i doubt i would have found elsewhere. they have given me a love for liturgy and the seasons and south jersey (!). and they have made me question over and over again if i was meant for community.
it was a great night of pictures and stories.

just a few things i love about being home.

2008-07-30T10:22:00.000-04:00

i love sleeping in my bed. i love my neighbors and my plants and bicycle. i love making dinner and looking through cook books. i love watching movies on my little laptop screen.

in other news chris and i are going to meet another dog soon named nellie. i don't know if i'm ready yet to give my love to another animal but i find myself spending time on petfinder.com nonetheless. we'll keep you posted.

here are some photos i took today.

home.

2008-07-24T18:29:00.000-04:00

i can't believe we are on our way home now. i'm amazed we've made it this far and it appears we will make it home (knock on wood).

in the last couple of days we visited the raleigh/durham area and had a great event. we met more mennonites than I've ever seen in one group and we spent time with very good friends, jonathan and leah and their little guy, ja'michael. i got to talk a bit with one of their community members, sarah, who has an 18 month old and another on the way. it was good to hear from folks with small kids in community - i think i gained some good insight.

then we made our way to richmond, va and had probably our smallest crowd yet. but that small crowd got really into it. it seemed meaningful for them. we stayed at a catholic worker house there last night and really enjoyed those folks. it was interesting to talk with them about the process of becoming a catholic worker house. i've known plenty but never asked how you go about becoming official. in case you're wondering, you don't go about becoming official! i guess with the history of anarchism it would be kind of against the philosophy to have criteria for something like that. and yet, most of the CW houses i've met are full of quality, hard-working, loving people.

and now we're going north on 95 and should be home in about 4 hours. i wish lucy was waiting for us but i'm glad at least our bed is. we've been gone long enough to form a habit - i wonder if it will be hard to break it. maybe i won't be able to sleep unless i'm in a moving vehicle or maybe i'll crave the rank smell of used veggie oil. not sure.

if anyone reads this from the philly area our last event is at broad street ministries (315 broad street) on saturday, july 26th. it begins at 5pm with a small ministry/organization fair and amy wilson and tamber (!!) playing (they're amazing). at 6 is a big dinner, all are welcome. and at 7pm is our event. i think we've worked out most of the kinks so if you come you'll be getting the best we have to offer.

hope to see you there!

the divine liturgy of the exiles

2008-07-22T16:27:00.000-04:00

i spent today in the bus listening intently to the psalters cd, the divine liturgy of the exiles. i've listened to it before but i've never given it the time it deserves. i read every lyric and listened to every note and i come away amazed, mystified, fearful and in awe. kind of dramatic language, yes, but it's kind of a dramatic look into what i believe, is the heart of god. their songs are hopeful and joyful but they are also piercing and honestly, scary. they sing scripture so raw - the anger of god towards us, those who, as one of their songs says, are 'peace-talkers with hearts of war' is very clear. but so is god's love and the admonition of the church to care for those around us, especially the least of these. for most of us these ideas are not new and yet their music makes them new and makes them urgently imperative. they say they are singing and playing the music for and of the refugees, of those in exile, which includes the church, aliens in a strange land. they want to make more clear the connection between worshipping god and being people of justice.

we are very blessed to be traveling with scott and jay (2 of the many members of psalters) and i really am so excited about the talent in their voices, in their instruments, in their lyrics, in their vision.

please visit them at: psalters.org and myspace and do buy their music and do tell them what you think.

checking in....

2008-07-22T16:21:00.000-04:00

a lot has happened since i last wrote.

1) texas. wow. texas is one big state. our first stop in texas was lubbock where we saw our old housemate, barrett. it was nice to connect with him and see a bit of his world. we had a big crowd that night and a good show. had some tex-mex too. yum .
we drove through the night to dallas and arrived at 4am. i rode with the camera crew in their car, the bus came to dallas in the early afternoon. now, sarah and steve perkins had one of the most comfortable set-ups for us. it was just like coming home, except with a pool, air conditioning, and lots of food and space. at that point we really needed some good rest time and their hospitality made resting very easy. (thanks!)

i will say one more thing about texas. big bugs. we stopped at a rest stop and i went into the bathroom only to be greeted by, seriously, the largest insect i have ever seen. so, of course i ran out afraid that they were all going to think i'm such a baby. turns out no one could bring themselves to go near it. no one except scott a. he saved the day.

2) after texas we headed to atlanta. this was a great crowd. we had so many volunteers and helpers from various churches and communities and the audience really loved the presentation, southern style. i felt like i was watching it with new eyes through them. it was so hot, though. wow. i think that was our most packed out show. it was good to see leroy and donna again too. i loved what they do and who they are. i feel privileged to know them. we also got to eat at a fairly new, local south food restaurant called 'sweet potatoes'. so good.

3) we left ATL the next morning at 6am and headed to orlando. it just keeps getting hotter and hotter. but everything in orlando is air conditioned so it was a good show. there were between 1400 and 2000 people who came and this church was a well oiled machine. i even got to wear a head set while i did the power point so i could cue the cameras. (!) crazy. that night we stayed with some guys who have some of the most creative decorating ideas i've seen. a couple fake stuffed deer, a framed pictures of babies, massive owl lamps, country style birdhouse wallpaper etc. it was amazing. we got some drinks and frozen pizza and hung in their house until the wee hours of the night.

4) so that brings me to now. we left orlando this morning on our way to raleigh/durham for our show tomorrow. we just stopped off at flagler beach and swam in the ocean and laid on the sand. lovely. i'd say it's a bit different from the jersey shore i'm used to! i even talked the boys into getting a hotel room tonight!!!! it's just sooo hot at night on the bus and no one sleeps. so then we're out of it for the next presentation. i look forward to that shower and that bed.

the barrenness and beauty of the desert.

2008-07-17T13:15:00.000-04:00

we had a great time in ventura - it was an excited crowd and we saw our good friend CJ and his wife (wish i had gotten a picture!). we had a wonderful snack time and breakfast the next morning with Joel Hickenbottom's family. Mr. Hickenbottom gave us veggies straight from his garden which we made into a healthful and yummy pasta sauce that night. we got to take a break at the beach (brrr! but the water was warm) and sleep on the sand. it was all very californian. :)

we then headed through arizona to new mexico. this has, by far, been my favorite landscape of the whole trip. i don't think i have ever felt as hot as i did in arizona. all the windows were open in the bus but i was chewing through ice cubes like a crazy person. it was barren but it really was beautiful. i've always touted myself as being a lover of the desert but i found myself questioning this in arizona. near the border of new mexico, however, the weather dropped nearly 15 degrees and the landscape became more like the desert with which i find my affinity. cactus started appearing and small mountains of rocks. we slept in a parking lot right outside of the petrified forest and the next morning at 7am we went to see what all the fuss was about. wow. it's amazing what nature does. it's mysterious and miraculous. that's what i love about creation - i'm not saying i don't believe in supernatural miracles but we have all the miracles we need outside in the outdoors. i felt small and insignificant in the midst of rocks and trees (now rocks) that are millions and millions of years old. imagining dinosaurs roaming around really seemed possible there. beautiful.

but we were on a schedule so i made us rush through and get to Albuquerque. i have loved all of our stops for they each offered something unique and special but i have to say, this stop, this place, has bewitched me. the hot days and cool nights, the desert and flowers and people... it was hard to leave this morning. the planning team for our event was the most organized and on top of things of any of the events. we actually had time to sit around for a bit because everything was done! this event was our first bi-lingual one, being translated into spanish for folks. i loved it. we had a folky group called the alyssa yarber band and a hip hop artist called JC Represent play our intermission time. they were both fantastic and really excited about being a part of this project.

but the best part was the group of folks we stayed with! lynn and john, and john's dad Bob, from casa shalom were so hospitable and welcoming. they are doing really good work opening up their homes to strangers. they live in a cooperative housing complex surrounding a courtyard with old growth trees (hard to find anywhere, let along in the desert!). about 15 families live in this complex teaching each other english and spanish, sharing meals and carrying each other's joys and burdens. out of all the communities i know (many of which excite me quite a bit) casa shalom really seems to be embodying the love and subversive hope of christ. i hope they visit us and that we can visit them again.

i'm literally sitting in the bus near to tears because i've been so moved by these people and this place. it could also be that i slept a total of 5 1/2 hours last night and not much more the night before... and we're driving through the night tonight!

i'll leave you with some pictures of the desert and my traveling companions and of our stop in NM.

Here is Jay eating tiny cookies

california love.

2008-07-14T03:21:00.000-04:00

san francisco - love that city. we hung out with good friends and family: darin, meeghan, justice, gwen, tim, andrea, stacey and others. we had philz coffee and walked around china town. very nice.

fresno - hot but friendly. this stop had the most enthusiastic crowd we've had so far! we stayed with some great people in the lowell community and got to hang out with the folks, especially beth, at the pink house. i spent some of my growing up not far from fresno, in stockton. fresno seemed really similar to stockton. california is a nice place to visit but i don't think i'd want to live there. thats good, i'm knocking places off my list. it helps me make decisions, knowing what i'm missing.

we are now heading to ventura and are hoping to spend a little time at the beach. after that the boys are trying mighty hard to get me to let us take a detour to the grand canyon and rent donkeys to take us down into it's depths. seems a little expensive and time consuming to me but they are wearing me down little by little. (don't tell them that)

here's a photo of beth in front of the pink-ish house. i'm bad at documenting our trip - i'm going to do better.

tomorrow: more on how ventura was, with pictures.

leaving...

2008-07-10T18:11:00.000-04:00

so i'm in the airport dreading my flight to san francisco. yes, i hate flying. i've realized that it's an unlikely scenario, me plummeting to the ground in a huge mass of metal, but nonetheless i don't like it.

i did have a great time in colorado with my fam though. we had dinner with chris' sister and brother-in-law (who are pregnant!), i hung out with lib and some friends, conor, alyssa and kristen, and spent a lot of time my good 'ol mom. this morning we went to red rocks and walked around, then had ice cream in morrison. here are some pictures.

we've spent a lot of time with other dogs on this trip. they make me miss lucy so much. they also make me hope to have another dog soon.

now i'm off to join the tour in san fran. there we also have wonderful friends who i'm looking forward to seeing.

2008-07-06T15:52:00.000-04:00

aahhh. cornerstone. one more year in attendance. granted, only for one day and night but the familiar joys and frustrations met me there. it is such a place of dichotomy. you have these christians who look so radical and consider themselves so outside of the mainstream church but the only thing that seems different is their hair color or how dirty they are willing to get. their beliefs and theology and lifestyle is much like the brothers and sisters they want to separate from. i do appreciate the diversity of cornerstone - there are folks still hanging on hoping for change within the christian culture, for community and simple living in the midst of booths advertising for christian television (no kidding) and christian jewelry and christian clothing - christian everything. and so therefore nothing is christian anymore. but still, there's a part of me that loves going.

but that's not what is most on my mind right now. you'd think that night after night of the same ideas would bore me or annoy me but i have to say, night after night i am convicted. i am moved towards jesus and embarrassed about my life. i find myself longing to be a part of a faithful body of christ, to sacrifice and follow and lay down my sword to pick up the cross. now, i'm not the most "christian" christian you'll ever meet. i usually let chris do the soul searching for the both of us (i do see the problem in that, of course) and i hate to make big promises i won't be able to keep but i sense a revival in me and it's reminding me of some of the earlier desires of my heart. it's making me question the things i care about, the course of our lives in this little family. i'm thinking a lot about how i want to raise my kids and what values i want to offer them, and how i want to order our lives.

we've been talking a lot about the holidays of the church. you know, like pentecost is the day of the birth of the church, not the fourth of july. christmas is the day of the arrival of our savior, not columbus day. i'm hoping to incorporate more of the holy days of church into my life as we start to loosen our grip on the holidays of the state. re-ordering our lives. good stuff.

in other news we made it to colo-radical and are now relaxing.

time off....

2008-07-03T13:39:00.000-04:00

i feel so relaxed right now... almost bored (shhh). it's a great feeling. we've been hanging out at chris' mom and dad's house for the last day and a half with good food, good sleep, good conversation and big trees. it's sunny but breezy. it's slow and happy.

i've had time to answer emails and to read my book (i'm actually kind of reading 3!).

jeffrey eugenides' "middlesex: a novel"

david sedaris' "when you are engulfed in flames"

greg mortenson and david oliver relin's "three cups of tea"

i've had time to check out some of my favorite blogs. one of which i've told you to visit before but i'll remind you again, soulemama.

she is so inspiring. now, i'm not terribly crafty so when i have kids it'll be a stretch to be as creative as she is. but i'm going to try.

what else have i done with my time off? showered (i haven't been this clean in 2 weeks!) and shamelessly watched internet tv. i'm not telling you which tv show though, because everyone makes fun of me.

i'm also preparing to leave tomorrow for a festival of 30,000 people. deep breathes and centering prayer.

denver is our next stop after that. i'm ready for that dry heat and my mom.

day 8 and 9

2008-06-30T12:53:00.000-04:00

day 8
hartford, ct was very nice indeed. it was a smaller crowd but a much more lively one. the catholic worker house there made us an incredible dinner - so yummy. (why do i always report on the meals?) they had a nice dog, riley, who i got to snuggle with a little. one of the families who live in the catholic worker have 2 teenage sons who have always been raised in community. there pretty amazing. i feel like i haven't seen tons of teens raised in this kind of lifestyle who are well adjusted (granted, i don't know many) but these 2 seem to be. it makes me excited to try out different models of family.

day 9
oh canada! i am so happy to be in canada! i love it already. we had kind of a nerve racking but funny experience at the border. so, of course, as soon as they saw the bus we were immediately sent to immigration to have the bus checked out. an armed officer comes in and asks what we were doing here in canada, so we told him. then he asked if any of us had been arrested. silence. we all just looked around the bus at each other. then finally one of us said "well, i don't have a criminal record" which sounded like "i have a really good lawyer". then the officer said that if he found out we were arrested before and had not told him we could go to jail. so then one by one we all went around and said, "yeah, i've been arrested..." but for good reasons! we explained our civil disobedience against the war and our officer loved it! he's also opposed to the war. we joked about how great canada is and he giggled about the title of the book.

then we went to niagra falls! here are some pictures.

"we are so excited to be here!"

day...? i think 7?

2008-06-30T12:51:00.000-04:00

(written 6/29)

we were in nyc yesterday and last night. while i love visiting new york, navigating through the traffic and street patterns with a school bus is hardly ideal. the event went well although was a little quiet for our tastes. it may be that new yorkers are not as quick to give themselves over to something but afterwards lots of people came up to us to let us know how thankful and encouraged they were. we even saw a few old friends. we were able to stay in nice apartments on soft surfaces with air conditioning! jimmy, our host pulled together an amazing lunch before the event as well. (thanks again!) we slept in till 9am this morning and are now on our way to hartford, ct.

i hope to get some pictures here, i haven't been very good at taking them on this trip.

i think we're all getting a little sick of each other or are tired and stressed - maybe both. we'll need to get over this hump, though, we have a long way to go.

after hartford we travel to toronto - yay! i've never been to canada.

2008-06-27T13:27:00.000-04:00

(written Thursday, June 26th)

Greetings from the road.... we've had a busy and sad and happy last couple of days. We had to leave Lucy in Indianapolis. We buried her in a community garden that is well tended and loved. The people who we stayed with and who take care of the garden placed a tree stump where she was buried, painted it and laid down flowers in her memory. They told us they recited the Franciscan blessing of animals over her. I'm so thankful that she was remembered in that way.

We're working through the void that she has left. We miss her and are glad that she's no longer afraid of anything. I don't know my thoughts on heaven and I know everyone says that animals aren't invited but I secretly hope she's floating on clouds, running through wildflower fields and licking many bowls of vanilla ice cream (she liked that).

yesterday we made our way to cincinnati which was a great stop. we really enjoyed the people there and the boys all did a good job. i want to visit the city again when we have some time, it had a good vibe.

We had to leave our friend Emmanuel there, which was sad. he was a great help so far on the tour and I really liked getting to know him. speaking of great people I love our documentary crew. most of them are the ones who helped with looking for lucy, they have helped with anything they could and are just fun to be around. we've got a good group with us.

so far i haven't gotten tired of meeting people and answering the same questions over and over again. it's kind of nice, actually, how most people want to talk about the content of the book, not the communities.

we've already had a little trouble with folks being uncomfortable with some of the content in the presentation but we're trying to push and challenge people a bit. i'd really like to see the church not be so quick to shelter it's people from controversy. how can we be one when we're too polite to be honest?
we'll see how it goes.

goodbye to our little lucy

2008-06-25T15:48:00.000-04:00

i wanted to let everyone know that last night our wonderful and very loved dog, lucy, died. she ran away from the bus while i was inside a building when someone accidentally let her out. she was an incredibly fast runner, no one could catch her and she was hit by a car. chris and i are devastated. we spent every day with her and feel a deep hole in our lives. we miss her so much already. i wish i could cuddle her and make her feel safe.

when someone dies it's appropriate for things to stop for a while but that doesn't feel appropriate when a pet dies, like we're being overemotional or something... but i want everything to stop.

if you knew her you know that she was such a frightened little thing. in the last year of her living with us she calmed so much and, i believe, she felt safe and loved. i'm thankful for that but i'm even more angry with the people who abused her before she came to us. they made her scared. which is why she ran. i hate so much knowing that she was afraid in the last minutes of her life. i don't know what to do with that.

the tour must go on. but we steal moments of tears and sadness when we can.
more pictures to come.

on the road

2008-06-23T12:37:00.001-04:00

i just wanted to drop a quick note and let everyone know that we made it safely through the papa fest (had a great time!) and have now, officially, begun the tour. tonight is our first event in grand rapids.

we are very tired but are getting used to a big bus and a crazy schedule. i wish i had some pictures uploaded but today is too busy. hopefully i'll be able to tomorrow on our way to indianapolis.

please keep us in prayer as this message can be upsetting to some - which can make it easy to sugarcoat.

love.

mi vida loca

2008-05-29T22:05:00.000-04:00

boy, things have been crazy here. i've never had so many details floating around in my head at once before. i'll list them out for you because i know how fascinating this information is.

1) chris and i tore apart our upstairs hallway and guest bedroom - took down plaster, put up drywall, fixed the wiring, primed, painted, installed new trim, sanded and polyurethaned the floors. (some of that's not done yet but within the next few days it will be)

2) as a result the rest of our house is covered in dust and is in general disarray and must be cleaned because of #3.

3) my (very tidy, some might say "neat freak") g-ma and my mom are coming to visit in one week (which i'm really very excited for - i love those ladies).

4) we leave for PAPA fest in 2 weeks and from there, we start our month long "jesus for president" tour.

5) i'm planning and managing said tour and so am receiving and sending about a million emails a day, organzing supplies for a month long bus ride, figuring out our route, thinking through and keeping track of finances and lots of other boring details. ooh. that reminds me, i need to get a house sitter.

yikes.

so, in the very least of all the things you could do for me, outside of prayer, please visit the website and see if we're coming near you. and if so, come see me and hug me and rub my shoulders.

the business of being born

2008-05-14T22:42:00.000-04:00

i have been waiting f o r e v e r to receive the newish documentary "the business of being born" and it came yesterday!!!!

chris and i watched it together - we may or may not be interested in starting a little family ;) so i was looking forward to it. i've been hearing so much about it and the film lived up to its reputation for sure. it was beautiful and heart breaking and enraging... and honestly, a little scary. the maternal mortality and the neonatal mortality rates in the united states are staggering compared to other developed countries - that's because our health care system (and our people) treat pregnancy, labor and delivery as illnesses, as something to be treated, medicated and numbed. other countries allow midwives to attend normal, healthy births as they've done for thousands and thousands of years... we hand mothers over to surgeons - just to have a baby!

as enraging and scary as the material presented is, the movie is also so hopeful. it paints a picture of how birth can be. and birth can be, of course, painful, messy, scary (human) but also empowering, natural, and happy. it paints a whole new picture of the scripture "and women shall find salvation in the pains of childbirth...".

salvation:salve:healing:wholeness - definitely.

bring it back home...

2008-05-14T22:20:00.000-04:00

this weekend the community visited the "great outdoors". it was melissa's birthday so we stayed in a yurt in swartswood state park. it was my first time sleeping in a yurt and it was pretty great. what wasn't great was that what should have been a 2 hour drive to this state park became almost 5 hours! with the friday traffic and getting lost a few times we (i) almost gave up and turned around. but in the end we had a wonderful time.

on saturday morning we headed to bellvale community (bruderhof) in new york. they were hosting a day of workshops, conversation, dance, music and food focusing on "bringing it back home". in an increasingly chaotic and disconnected (homeless) world the point was to focus on simple (subversive) things like gardening, weaving, taking care of our children and families, tree tending and caring for animals (chickens, sheep, goats etc) that give us a sense of home - and DIY.

i always feel... well, at home when i'm at one of these communities. yeah, people dress weird and have funny accents (just kidding) but their sense of community, of belonging to a people, is so radical and so comforting that by the end i hate to leave. i cannot stress enough how wonderful and even life changing it is to visit these communities. do it!

church communities international, formerly known as the bruderhof, began in nazi germany and were eventually kicked out because they wouldn't allow themselves to be penetrated by the third reich. they were pacifists and barred the nazi's from the classrooms they taught in. no country would taken them until finally paraguay did. they have since settled all over the world in rural and urban communities. they are anabaptist in denomination and nature and the way they follow jesus is astounding. they would be embarrassed reading this.

anyway, read "homage to a broken man" for their full story and for goodness sake, go visit them!

our backyard

2008-05-04T15:19:00.000-04:00

chris and i are so excited about our little veggies growing in our backyard! we wanted to share some pictures.

we're growing roma tomatoes, green leaf lettuce, radishes, carrots, green beans, broccoli, kale and collards.

this is chris watering our little veggies.

garlic.

this is lucy by our stove. she just got yelled at for walking in our veggie patch.

happy planting.

lovely.

2008-04-24T23:03:00.000-04:00

i feel like i should just have a big arrow pointing to this blog instead of posting anything myself. so much beauty and wisdom.

this is a poem she posted a few days ago. i like it.

Here by Grace Paley

Here I am in the garden laughing
an old woman with heavy breasts
and a nicely mapped face

how did this happen
well that's who I wanted to be

at last a woman
in the old style sitting
stout thighs apart under
a big skirt grandchild sliding
on off my lap a pleasant
summer perspiration

that's my old man across the yard
he's talking to the meter reader
he's telling him the world's sad story
how electricity is oil or uranium
and so forth I tell my grandson
run over to your grandpa ask him
to sit beside me for a minute I
am suddenly exhausted by my desire
to kiss his sweet explaining lips.

2008-04-24T22:33:00.000-04:00

time does heal, but i don't want to forget. sometimes i can't remember his voice or his face is fuzzy in my mind. i don't know what to do about that.

the weather is so beautiful here - i wish my dad could have seen one more spring. but i see the cycle of death into life. it's meaningful that this cycle is as old as life itself and will continue on.

i wanted to share some more photos of my cute dad... and my cute mom and sis and self.

AAAAHA/4NDCKdZ_hYc/s320/20080410_175603_0.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5193007528893462402" />

my dad...

2008-04-17T17:12:00.000-04:00

April 2, 1952 - April 9th, 2008

my dad was funny and nerdy and sensitive. he was the world's most frequent "pun" maker. he loved hockey and hunting and camping. he was stubborn and often kept things to himself. he was outgoing and friendly and embarrassing. (the whole time we were in ireland on a family vacation he insisted on speaking in an irish accent! there was no doubt in anyone's mind that we were tourists.) my dad loved to argue and challenge. he loved movies and music. his favorite dvd was The Last Waltz. he and i didn't always know how to communicate, we had our ups and downs, but i love him and will miss him very much.

planting day

2008-04-05T21:28:00.000-04:00

spring is here so early this year!(which is something not entirely to be considered good) today was so beautiful and i think the danger of frost is over. this morning was exactly what one looks for in a spring day. it felt warm and wet and our backyard was calling out to us to tend it. so chris and i spent several hours raking and sifting and planting and sorting. i'm going to put up pictures tomorrow because i'm proud of our work.

we were looking at our lettuce seeds, feeling like growth was really unlikely, (how can such a small seed, that once placed in the little hole can't even be seen, grow into something so useful - and without much work on our part?) and the age old biblical principle of the mustard seed came to mind. the bible is a garden book. i like that.

we are also reading "animal, vegetable, miracle" by barbara kingsolver
and are very inspired for this garden season. (buy or borrow this book, please) we're kind of late jumping on the agricultural bandwagon due to most of our community members growing food for us so it's nice to be getting our hands dirty.

and lastly, we have begun buying raw milk and cheeses from a farm close by. it tastes like milk should.

the end.

holy week

2008-03-21T17:24:00.000-04:00

happy holy week to you! every year i am so moved by the events of this week. it is, of course, the most holy week of the year culminating in the most joyful occasion for the church. i think we, in camden, do an especially wonderful job remembering and celebrating this. we begin on wednesday with a traditional seder dinner. the songs and prayers and food rituals begin to root us in the history of this week and remind us that we are adopted into the people of god. on holy thursday we continue the celebration of the seder with the adoration of the eucharist - remembering that jesus is the lamb of god, broken for us. on good friday we begin the day with the via crucis. each station is also a place in our neighborhood where someone has been killed. our spanish speaking brothers and sisters join together with us to remember those who have been killed, to sing songs, pray prayers and participate in the story of our jesus. in the afternoon of good friday we do mass together. our priest reads the passion story and lifts a purple shroud off of a massive cross upon which is hung a sculpture of jesus. as we sing about the cross of christ each person goes up and kisses the feet of jesus. i really appreciate the symbols and mystery of our liturgy. i know some are uncomfortable with these rituals but i don't know how i could really celebrate the resurrection without, in some way, experiencing the crucifixion. this mass is the most deeply moving for me and today father michael really preached it during the homily! he reminded us that in the death of jesus on the cross he most clearly showed the way of non-violence. in giving up one's life, not in domination and killing, is real love.
amen.

tomorrow is a quiet day spent in preparation of easter. on easter morning at 4:30am we go into the church where someone reads the creation story. we are then "cast out of the garden" and move down into the tomb (the pitch black church basement) where we read the exodus story and finally, about the resurrection. we go upstairs, into the light (about 7:30am), and process around the neighborhood singing alleluia and ringing bells.

beautiful.
amen and amen.

bucket boys.

2008-03-09T23:03:00.000-04:00

chris' very good friends from all the way back in junior high, mitch and vince, are drummers and perform in the bucket boys. they're great - check them out. mitch is visiting us for a couple of days and we've been having a great time. we went into the city looking for chris' book in bookstores, we bought lush-y gifts for mitch's fiance, kim, and ate pizza (which is kind of naughty and kind of legit - we've given up dairy for lent but as catholics we don't need to fast on sundays) :). it was like a vacation. i also played settlers of catan with folks this evening. that game is amazing. play it. now.

IT'S OUT!!!

2008-03-09T22:58:00.000-04:00

Jesus For President is now out in bookstores (check your local barnes and nobles for a display) and is available on amazon.com. make sure and ask for it if you can't find it somewhere. we're really excited and looking forward to the feedback, positive and negative. so far, the reviews have been wonderful and the book is pretty high in sales on amazon.

just wanted to let you know!

funny.

2008-02-22T12:10:00.000-05:00

i was just shown these videos a couple of days ago. you have to watch the 1st one first, and the 2nd one second. the 1st can be inspiring, sure, but it's also a little funny. the most amazing part is that michael from LOST is on it. i guess he really did get off the island.

the 2nd video is hilarious. i apologize for a bit of vulgarity but don't let that stop you from laughing. some people are so clever.

whirlwind of events

2008-02-22T11:34:00.000-05:00

hello friends. it has been too long since i've posted, i know. this was my initial worry about blogging - that i wouldn't have time to do it. but i'll keep pushing forward.

we had our annual "family reunion" here in camden last weekend. just 50 or so of some good friends living life similarly around the country (and in england). we had a great time. what stuck out to me the most was that we are growing and aging and having families. the kids are older and taking more of the focus and i love it. it gives our communities more love, patience and stability. i think it's a great honor to be interrupted by clara coming (literally) into the middle of a difficult conversation and plopping down to read bambi. i wish i got a picture of that. but i do have others.

and the dads! i love the dads. the moms are wonderful too but i love to see the dads. we know some inspiring families.

we were also able to spend some longer time with darin, meeghan, and justice. darin and meeghan are long time friends of chris' and now mine and we are the godparent's of justice. he's gorgeous and brilliant, of course. i had a great time giving him baths and chasing lucy with him. i miss him and his parents.

and now, i am curled up on the couch in the middle of a snow day. no school only shoveling and reading and napping. later today i think we're going to go and see "there will be blood". sounds good - my friend went to see it and had a panic attack in the middle! but truth be told, i think the attack was about other things. still, it looks very suspenseful.

in other news, the tour is almost fully booked and we have real copies of the book! it should come out to the general public in the next couple of weeks. it looks great. chris and shane have gotten very good reviews and encouragement.

more later. love.

2008-01-24T18:24:00.001-05:00

this is where i am...
lord have mercy on me for being on this computer.

so much work

2008-01-13T08:26:00.000-05:00

so, i'm planning this tour for jesus for president and i'm realizing how much will need to get done before this summer! we have most of the cities finalized but now the real work will start in details. i can't help but be real excited though! i don't think most people who know me would expect that i'd be looking forward to life on a bus for a month but i can't wait! 22 cities in 30 days. crazy.

sundays...

2008-01-06T18:57:00.000-05:00

today has been entirely unproductive. which is nice.
we went to mass and i remembered we are in the middle of christmastime, not over and done with it. it was good to feel festive again. then we had lunch all together with a few guests including a great kid, demitrius. he's so engaged and inquisitive. he tried raspberry vinaigrette for the first time and loved it - for a 9 yr old that's pretty amazing. he played with otis, the turtle, and lucy, the dog, and metta, the cat. we thoroughly enjoyed him.
after lunch chris, demitrius, and i decided to go visit our new neighborhood tree berm in the park! i'll post some pictures but the long and short of it is that because the park borders the waste treatment plant whose odors are carried by the wind into the neighborhood, some folks thought it good to plant many trees. these trees create a space for the pollution and odor to be filtered as the wind carries it. brilliant. if you stand in the middle and squint you might almost think you're in a forest. i've been taking lucy there every day.
after the forest adventure we took demetrius home and chris, lucy and i fell asleep on the couch under blankets. mmm.
now, we are at a coffee shop. it's slightly loud as tonight is open mic night and we are right next to some lively young people. but still ok.

in between times of sleep on the couch i was also looking at food blogs, which i love. here are some good ones you should look at if you want to be inspired.

smitten kitchen
tea and cookies
pinch my salt
cupcake blog
slow foods

i love reading about food so if you know of good blogs or books, let me know!

kite runner

2007-12-30T20:10:00.000-05:00

chris and i just saw kite runner. i cried through almost the entire book and the same was true for the movie. it is such an incredible story with very talented actors and captivating cinematography.

i don't want to give away anything from the movie but basically it's about 2 young boys, friends, growing up in afghanistan just as the russians and then the taliban take over. it's made me think of many things.
i don't know when we'll be held accountable for the things done to children in our world... it's so horrific. it seems unfair that the children chris and i have one day (god willing) will probably never have to live through what other children do. i guess we never know. that was one idea the movie brought to my mind. how do you raise children to be so courageous and loving? so willing to sacrifice self-preservation for the needs of others? i suppose we, the adults, have to mirror it. and so, it comes back to me. how do i become courageous and loving? how do i become willing to sacrifice the preservation of me for others? can i do the little things that inconvenience me? can i talk with jim a little longer outside my house the next time he comes around? can i invite shanna in to sit on my couch for pb&j and soymilk (she loves the stuff, it's weird) when the absolute last thing i want to do is deal with is a needy addict (just being honest). can i greet the men who stand on the corner with a little more trust and love than i do?

ok... so as i type those out they embarrass me. they seem easy. ok, so if those are easy and i struggle doing them could i put my life at risk for my friends? could i actually lay down my life?

our community christmas picture

2007-12-30T13:44:00.001-05:00

finally, here is our christmas picture (after christmas, i know). almost everyone is in it and we're standing in front of the philly skyline and a scrap metal facility.

bad genes

2007-12-29T15:17:00.000-05:00

at about 7:35 am today i found out that i have been passed down the gerhke (mom's side) migraine curse. my first one. it was awful! i still feel awful. i got the whole deal... massive piercing headache, nausea, and throwing up. and now i'm so tired, laying here, and thinking of all the things i need to get done.

on an another note, christmas was nice. we went to chris' grandparent's houses in ohio. lucy came too and we had a great time. pictures are coming. chris' grandpa keeps bees and we got to go check them out. and we all got honey! yum. chris put some on my toast this morning, after all my "cleansing".

speaking of cleansing... a different kind, of course... my bathtub is calling.

school's out!

2007-12-21T17:04:00.000-05:00

today was the last day of school for my class and for chris as well! it feels good to have a break. hopefully i'll have more time to post about what's been going on.

i just ordered some stationary from a beautiful artist that i want to share.
gwen frostic prints are lovely and you should buy some. here is a picture of her bird notecards.

levon helm

2007-12-15T13:27:00.000-05:00

i was listening to npr in the car today and terry gross was interviewing a musician and singer levon helm. i've never heard of him but fell in love with the music he plays. "dirt farmer" is the first album he has put out in 25 years - he was diagnosed with vocal chord cancer but is in full-ish recovery. check him out of you like mountain music.